[A little long post]
2019 had been very tough for me, and really a life changing year for me. I literally broke up with my bf of 10 years on Jan 1st 2019 while watching the fireworks. We were planning to get married that year. Or at least I was planning to.
Then my emotions had been spiral out of control. Most of my close friends can see that I was kinda unstable. I try to stay tough but it wasn't easy.
I also lost few friends. From death to falling out. Some of my friends are longer than my relationship with my ex. I think I was more devastated to lose them than my ex.
Since I no longer have attachment to anyone, I thought I should finally try to pursue my dream to work at Europe. Easy to say all my attempts failed.
Then came my health problem. My palpitations become violent, and my right arm was kinda start to fail around August. I also become lethargic and the doctors detected blood anomaly and couldn't determined what were the issues. Also I discovered I have tumor and cyst.
Then I was involved my first car accident and was rushed to hospital due to concussions, although I'm blessed didn't need to be hospitalized. The hospital bill tho. I spent the next 2 weeks in pain recovering from minor cuts and bruises.
And finally due to my emotions and illness, I'm suffering major art block, and the company I worked almost 5 years finally decided to let me go (couple with several dissatisfaction with the company that I myself wanted to leave as well).
I seriously nearly suffering mental breakdown from everything. I've been waking up in pain, physically and mentally. There are times I wish I didn't wake up at all.
Then something happened, and slowly it snowballing into a life changing experience for me.
To begin with, I finally begin to draw a lot. I draw to cope with my depression and melancholy. Thanks to my constant drawing, I managed to get the attention of my idol, Amaury Vassili. From there I become part of his fans community and I unexpectedly found a new family, with majority of them are French. I even begin to learn French.
But perhaps the biggest and best thing happened to me is to be accepted into Mensa. I tried to join Mensa in 2015 but I missed by 1 point, afterwards I was lazy to retry.
Right after joining Mensa I found another new family. I meet many wonderful people with similar to same interest. I felt welcomed. With Mensa I tried and experience many new things.
I finally be able to meet the puzzle master I've been idolized. I've been given a chance to do things I had always interested with, social media managing and volunteering to many activities I had always been interested with. I learnt a lot.
I meet many people around the world through IBD (International Board Directors). I was lucky to join Mensa right before IBD, since the last time Malaysia hosted was 1994. Through IBD I made new connections, and most importantly, I unexpectedly found new love? Although we are not sure how far we might go, but meeting him helped heals my heart.
And finally, throughout this year made me realized I have many wonderful friends. For years my world solely involved around my ex. Since I become single, people around me, especially my friends had been nothing but amazing and supportive. My family also had been nothing but wonderful. Even after the breakup, my ex and I are in good terms and we remained friends. In fact he had been very supportive of my new relationship.
By the almost end of 2019, I received few good news, my surgeries had been successful and I'm currently cyst and tumor free. My blood condition getting better and I no longer lethargic. Some of my job interviews showed hope that I can secure the job, I made amends with few people and I am now in speaking term with them again.
Also, I begin 2020 with 0 debt as I completely paid everyone and credit card! Also I finally finished paid for my car.
I'm really hoping and looking forward to a better 2020. Like the recent popular saying, "May the tears you cried in 2019 water the seed you're planting for 2020 "
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