Growing up my brother I was bullied for being mixed heritage. Ironically we were bullied by our own people, stating we both were not "Malay enough" or "Fake Malay" and one time were even being called "Africans" as we both have darker complexion than others.
Growing up I resented my dark complexion. I would try to find any means to make my skin lighter. I always feel I wasn't beautiful due to my dark complexion. I didn't feel beautiful because I kept been comparing to Africans and Indians which apparently people around me view them with contempt.
Little did I know how wrong they were!
As I grew older, suddenly my life kinda turned 180°. People suddenly begin to compliment my dark texture, remarking I have an exotic appearance and my ethic ambiguity makes things exciting. While I love all the positive attentions I am getting, I wish I had it while growing up! I wish I had all these positive supports for my mixed heritage but instead I ended up growing up with mental trauma, pain and damage.
However it took me years to realise the advantageous to be ethically ambiguous in my country.
While I love my country and (most of) the people, my people the Malays, at least what is written in my official documents can be really backwards. Basically they're the Meleis.
The word 'meleis' is often used on social media and even in real life – to point out and criticise Malays or Malay culture that might not be in line with liberal values in demeaning tone. Consequently, the word has been devised to create a sub-group in Malaysia – not Malays, but 'Meleis'. Melies is a racial slur created BY the Malays themselves to downgrade and curse Malay people.
In my opinion, it's unfortunate there's more Meleis nowadays, with holy art thou attitude trying to impose their belief into others. Worst part? All these belief tends to be very backwards and play with race and religion cards.
Not to mention double standard too!
I take notes on some of incidents my friends faced.
Story 1
A local mixed-blood Indian friend of mine dating a local Indian boy who happens, somehow really have an African features and often mistaken as one. One night she was stopped by the (Malay) police during a road block. They were suspicious of the two - until they learnt they both local Indians. They went, "Phew thank God he is not African, also thank God you are not Malay either. WTF THAT'S SUPPOSSED TO MEAN??
Story 2
A friend of mine is mixed Malay and Chinese but she always passed as a Chinese. She didn't wear hijab and wear modestly; jeans, t-shirt and occasionally camisole or sleeveless dresses. All seems fine UNTIL they realised she is officially a Malay and suddenly people making fuss asking her to 'cover' up.
Story 3
"Dress like your age" or "Stop wearing or liking anything cute" - seems to be targeted only to the Malays, by the Meleis, especially if you're wearing hijab *groans*
There's more but I think these three are the most absurd I had heard so far. I admit I didn't realised the severity of the Malays due to them often mistaking me as a Christian Chindian (Chinese mix Indian) - yes it's interestingly specific. I never realised being ethically ambiguous really helps me to get away with many things here.
I am able to enjoy many things without being questioned or 'reprimand'. No one bats their eyes with the way I dressed (short skirts, sleeves dresses), holding or hugging my bf or any male friends, or whenever I do things I like (partying or spending time at the bar - even tho I don't drink alcohol). Plus I tends to speak English instead of Malay.
Meleis people tends to be ok with me UNTIL they realised I am too a Malay. They didn't like the way I dressed, they have issues with things I'm interested with, or how I socialise (with boys especially). Basically I am anything but an IDEAL MALAY to the Malays.
As I mentioned at the start, growing my brother and I were bullied by the Malays. Who had been supportive of us during these times? Majority are the non-Malays. They have no issue with me no wearing hijab, they have no issue with the way I dress, they have no issue with interests with cute things. At times I feel like more Chinese even tho I look more like an Indian. In fact I tends to speak English with a Malaysian Chinese accent.
So it shouldn't come as a surprise I'm really not interested to marry a Malay eh?
Comments