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Writer's pictureILICarrieDoll

Not All Rejections are Bad

Updated: Nov 14, 2021

One of the facts of life is that we will face rejections; it can be social rejections, emotional rejections, career rejections, etc, etc, etc, but one thing is certain - rejection is very painful.

To some people getting feedback or opinions especially when they were uncalled equals to rejections. Why? because it is almost as similar as getting their ideas dismissed.


Most people view taking things personally as a fear response that happens when you perceive situations as threatening to your ego or identity. However, that's not the case all the time. At times it is just a fight or flight response because the subject being questioned matters to them personally.

Some people react well to feedback/rejections and vise versa. Admittedly, a rejection-less life sounds great on paper. But rejection is actually necessary for your well-being. If you can get beyond the initial sting, it's a chance to reevaluate yourself to your advantage.


Getting feedback and rejections if you accept them in the right way, they actually help to improve your life! Use feedbacks, rejections as tools for self-improvement.


Just put this way, would you rather be rejected by someone you like or be accepted but the relationship ended being one-sided or loveless? Initially you will feel hurt with the rejection but what you may not realise is that you will end up meeting someone who would love you equally as you do.


As for feedback, would you rather being told things you had been doing wrong and how you can improve them - or - live blissfully unaware of your mistakes and repeating making them, causing no personal growth, or worst may cause harm to others.


Recently I experienced the power of getting rejections and feedback to improve my work first hand. I was brainstorming a special illustration for my 2nd anniversary . Initially I drew myself and my partner in Rilakkuma onesies, thinking the idea was cute. My partner however did not have the same idea and rejected it hard - he is not comfortable seeing himself in onesie as it is not something he would do nor showcasing his character. I'm not going to lie, I was very upset. I spent hours brainstorming and I was confident my idea was brilliant.


He might have realised how upset I was because he eventually told me I can still publish it if I want to but I refused; if I wanna make an art that involves both of us, especially an anniversary art, we both must be very happy about it.


I immediately begin to work on my second attempt. While he likes the general idea, he commented that the art looks more like a father kissing his daughter's forehead. While it's not a rejection, I need to fix it based on his feedback. I become further frustrated. While I was halfway fixing it I decided to scrap the whole design and begin a new one and waddya know? He completely loves it!

Looking back to all the three works I produced within a day, I like the last one the most. I begin to imagine if my first two works were not rejected (or getting heavy feedback) I might not have created something as nice as this one. Plus we are both happy with it so it's a win-win to me. I learned some rejections are not bad and at times the reason I took it personally is because I want to produce good works.

I need to give extra credit to Ladytist as it was her works that inspired me to create this.

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