Yesterday I discovered something, Skin Positivity! I mean it makes sense! Like of course! If you have body positivity so why not skin positivity? How could I never think of that before?
Skin positivity isn't about changing the appearance of your skin, it's about changing the way you see your skin. Because your happiness shouldn't rely on how good your skin is looking each day. This isn't a movement reserved for the realms of social media, though.
Again like I mentioned in my previous post on Body Positivity, I believe skin positivity is to love and appreciate your skin after all the efforts you had taken to give it the best care you possibly could.
Now this topic is really close to my heart. I used to have clear skin, then I reached 10 all hell break loose. Quite literally. I begin to have nasty breakout and no sure why. We begin to observe everything I consume, hoping to find the possible trigger to no avail.
This lasted even to this day. I had tried many; trying various skincare from local products to around the world, I had been taken to traditional to modern treatments, I tried traditional herbals and modern medicines for hormones, I had even try homeopathy, naturopathy, you name it.
At one point in my life I was bullied for my dark skin as well as my skin condition. I was even been told straight to my face. "Who would want you?" It's devastating. And I hate the fact I couldn't control nor finding solution to my skin issues.
Growing up, and even to this day people still sometimes come to me and asked what is wrong with my face. Luckily so far no strangers do this to me, they're polite enough not to intrude. These usually done by people familiar with me or my family so maybe they think we should be comfortable enough to accept that kind of comments -__-
Funny enough I was never actually hurt by them. I'm unsure why, maybe because I accept that the reality? That my skin is indeed bad so why denying it? :')
Oh important note, whenever these people gave these kind of comments, they usually accompany by suggestions or solutions. Again maybe that's why I don't feel hurt - I want to listen any suggestions or solutions available! I want to make my skin looks good! Also I do feel they never meant to hurt me with the comments; they meant well but maybe didn't phrase them properly. Asian elderlies as I always put it; blunt. Maybe too blunt at times :')
While I wasn't hurt, I admit they did effect my self-esteem. I often feel worthless and less beautiful everyone around me. I feel small.
Despite this, I didn't like to make makeup. I have multiple reasons for it:
My skin is very sensitive, makeups usually can cause breakups.
Makeups that usually suitable to my skin condition is quite expensive
Makeups that fit to my dark skin is not easily available and quite expensive too
Because of my skin condition, I prefer they're chemical free
I'm a practice Muslim and I pray 5 times a day. With my skin condition I will need at least 5 to 10 minutes to apply my thick makeup. It will be wasting time to remove and reapplied makeups for each prayer.
Admittedly I am not feeling comfortable feel something on my face
Only in recent years, say around in middle 2016 I finally start to appreciate makeups. It's started when people mistaken me to be naturally beautiful and that's when I see makeups as a form of art. I see these praises as my a praise to my skills and I would make them sure I'm actually heavily makeup and I will not hesitate to show photos of me without makeup.
without makeup (apart lipstick) vs with full makeup (no filters)
Even with my newfound love to makeups, I still hardly do makeup daily and the reasons remains the same as before (the above 6 pointers) plus I admit I am lazy. I decided to reserved makeup on special occasions or when I already planned a night out.
People, usually guys who knows how I look without makeup would commented that I don't need one. For some reason this will triggers me a lot! Logically I know they meant well, they trying to tell me that I should love the way I look and I didn't need to makeup to look good or to fit into society conformist. And yet I was always upset by this. Maybe because most of these comments coming from men; and I always feel they making the impression I makeup for them, when in truth I makeup for myself, myself alone!
But now I think I know better, I think because I hardly makeup so when I feel like it, let me be! Why should you be telling what I should do or not? I believe this had been my subconsciousness. Also I see makeup as another form of art. the more natural I look the more I'm proud of my skill. I'm an artist, being skillful in art meant everything to me. I also remember my dad used to tell me this. "Stopping women from makeuping is one the cruelest thing you can do to them"
All these make me wonder, am I actually love my skin? Am I skin positivity? I questioned this because my reason for not makeuping daily is due to laziness and partial practicality - but I also feel the fact I didn't bother to change the way I look and still looking solution to make my skin looks better may be part of skin positivity?
no filter, trying new contact lenses and rocking new hairdo
I remember I meet someone new in late 2019 at a party. I was in heavy makeup but I make sure to look as natural as possible. The next time I meet him I originally wanted to makeup to look good but then I feel I rather let him see the real me. Guess what? He wasn't even bother with my skin condition! In fact I'm the one ended up being frustrated seeing he didn't give any reaction nor he said nothing about it so I managed to brought it up and he just said, "I didn't find anything wrong with your skin"
When I told mum I meet someone her first question was, "Had he seen you without makeup?". Might sounds harsh or superficial of her but hear me out; she's being concern and practical, she understand too well how the society perceive us and she just want to make sure no one is hurt by the end of the day. When she found out the outcome of my meeting with him, she was (and still is) the happiest person in the world.
I don't lie that this boosted my self-esteem; to know someone appreciate you the way you are more than the way you look. Now I am more determined to look good! I had talked to many women and we all admit the more their significant others accept them the way they are, the more they want to look beautiful as a way to thank them. Admittedly some of us kinda want people to see our s.o have a beautiful other half. We women just have a unique way to show our appreciation to our s.o ;)
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