Ever since I meet my current partner I had been very happy. There were ups and downs, temporary breakup and patched ups, but in the essence I am in a happy place when it comes to relationship.
But at times I do feel guilty for being happy. I feel guilty I was able to move on and be happy while my former partner still alone by himself. Whenever I talked to him about this, he would often say, "Don't worry about me, I can handle it. Focus on your own happiness".
That's the thing, he would say "I can handle it" rather than "I am happy right now". I agree with him that I should be focusing with my own happiness, and I should, after all I survived the breakup and I do deserve to be happy again after fighting to build up my life post breakup.
I just want my former partner to find the same happiness I'm having right now.
How can I overlooked the man who had helped me becoming what I am today? Sure the breakup was painful, but I can't ignore all the good years we had before. All the years of laughter and tears, all the years of love and fights, all the years of new discovery of each other.
I was at a dark place and he came, shining lights for me. He took care of me when I couldn't take of myself. I always felt I hardly do anything for him. I felt like I was hardly there for him. It was always him there for me.
Deep down I felt guilty because I felt like as if I abandoned him, leaving him to be alone by himself while I am now is with someone else and is very happy.
Again I need to remind myself the breakup was mutual and we both now have our own life. By right I owe nothing to my former partner and so does him. I had a possible bright future and happiness with my current partner and I should be focusing on that.
I no longer love my former partner, as least not the same way I used to but he will always be part of my heart.
And all I hope is for him to find happiness as well.