Throughout the years I noticed several things that turned out to be massive red flags.
As much as I hate stereotypes, I remember my for partner said to me, "Stereotypes exist for a good reason. You give individuals a chance, but if they do not move away from the stereotype, then no more chance"
The biggest red flags I notice on people is when they idolised villain characters. Note the differences between like and idolising. Villains characters tends to be the one you love to hate, they're interesting for psychology or literature case studies. Some people like villain characters for one or two or three aspects of them; for example their fashion sense or sassiness but in general people may not like and didn't even want to emulate their toxic personality.
Now the problem here is when these villain characters being idolised. Rather than liking them for all the points I mentioned above, I noticed some people truly idolised every aspect of them, especially of their toxic personality - which they viewed as something they can relate to.
Now tell me, knowing people feel related to villain characters' toxic personality screams big red flag? To me yes they do!
I noticed these people tends to be:
Thinks themselves misunderstood.
They are proud to be considered themselves misunderstood.
They actually didn't do anything do improve their situation.
In their head it's always them against the world.
They always think they're right, it's just the world refuse to understand them.
Entitled, they think they're living with "you do you" motto when the truth is they're actually just being an asshole.
Constantly being angry with everything, as they think the world is unfair.
In my opinion, real misunderstood people didn't even realised they were misunderstood, they often wondered why they felt out of place and these people usually try to improve themselves. Some may noticed they're odd and while they didn't try to change themselves, they're content with the situation and in general have a pleasant attitude. Think of Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter (random note, I love her and I want to be like her).
In general, this is very similar to the previous topic I wrote, "Who you Idolise Reflects your Character". I know we often say do not judge a person based on their views, political views especially. Maybe we don't, however it shouldn't come as a surprise that who we idolise (real people or fictional character) may reflect our personality.
The second major red flag I noticed is during the rise of Instagram. My observations is from Instagram first started in 2010 to the latest office dramas in my office.
I noticed if someone upload their photos, selfies especially, in span between five days or less, plus with captions that often have nothing to do with the photos, be very wary of them. I noticed they tends to have massive ego, and they're usually nasty to others unless they like the person. But the moment things going south, these people will not hesitate to throw you under the bus.
I had always said while I do love fashion, I don't really like the fashion industry (clothing or modelling) and makeup industry/community because I feel they tends to be toxic? I even find lolita community to be quite toxic.
I see anything that involves appearances will definitely cause narcissism. So it's no surprise same can be said to selfies and self photos.
Some may argue some profession requires them to constantly upload photos of them, for example celebrities, tv personalities, models, influencers or drag queens. I do agree, but again, look which category they fell in? Things that involving appearances. And check their social media life. I am not surprised majority of them involving drama or ego power play.
In the end wether they're personal posts or for profession, they often leads back to feeding their massive ego.
My current partner sees them as "I still do case by case, but I do agree they are generally true". Yes I so agree with him. We shouldn't be too quick to judge someone due to their interests and behavior, but until we can be sure of it, it's ok to be safe than sorry. Mentally it is good to be prepared in case things went sour - which in my case they often do. And I must say unsurprisingly at this point.
After all as my former partner say, "Stereotypes exist for a good reason".
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