Growing up, I had many reservations concerning disabilities and PWDs (Person/People with Disabilities). I often wondered why some PWDs dislike to be seen as inspirational. It's confusing to me; they're genuinely remarkable people, and they're genuinely inspiring - so what's with the resentment?
But after seeing a post from my friend in Instagram, in addition to my own current condition, my eyes were opened and I feel that it's about time I addressed how I think these views on PWDs are actually rather problematic, to able-bodied and disabled people both.
Stop Telling Me PWDs are Inspirational!
Growing up in Malaysia, I really hate it when people say "Orang cacat pon boleh buat, kenapa awak tak boleh? (If a disabled person can do/achieve it, why can't you?)" - In general PWDs are often addressed and described as inspiring, especially if they have achieved something in life; from something "normal" as studying and getting A's in exams in school to career success in various fields from sports to business. Even on mundane things we always find them to be inspiring.
I hate it! I really do!
Growing up I told many people that I'm willing to bet that had these disabled people gone through their lives without any disabilities, 99% of them are mostly going to be like 'the most of us' - to be seen as unremarkable, unmotivated at times, doing what many would perceived as 'normal' things such as going to work, having no extra ventures, having fun on weekends with shopping and partying.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not invalidating all the hard work put in by PWDs. My issue has never been with the PWDs - but to the folks making able-bodied people feel as if they're useless for not doing anything significant, using PWDs as something to strive for.
For years this is how I feel. I honestly do. While I fully respect and do find PWDs to be inspirational and hardworking, I hate how society treats "normal living people" to be unremarkable with insignificant achievements, compared to successful PWDs.
It's a Lot More Than That
But in recent years my views changed and I realised things are a lot more severe than I initially thought. After my car accident in 2019 my car accident in 2019 where my physical condition changed, I went through new life experiences ever since. As mentioned in my previous blog entry, When You Suddenly become Visible, I suddenly was being treated better. I see more kindness from people and this helped to restore my faith in humanity.
But what I didn't state in my previous blog is a newfound experience that I actually find rather uncomfortable. As stated in the previous entry, I am officially not a PWD, but due to my leg brace, plus walking with a slight limp, I am now often mistaken as one.
Here lies the issue.
Suddenly many people are finding me to be inspirational, and to some degree even cool.
But the thing is, I haven't changed anything; I'm still keeping to the same routine - I go to work, I go to the gym, I go shopping, I still hang out at my favorite cafe. Nothing new, really. The only difference is that now I'm doing all these while wearing leg braces.
I get messages from random people (and sometimes even from friends) telling me that they find me to be strong, that I did not allow misfortune and shortcomings to hinder my life. That I am doing all the things I love despite it being not as easy as before. I'm not going to lie. All these messages touched me. I feel happy to learn that all the things I have been doing get validated, celebrated. Even though they're just normal things that I just love to do (such as hobbies) and some I do in order to survive (aka work).
This is the problem. Big problem I must say.
These are normal things. Normal things I had been doing for years. How is it that all these years they're not seen as remarkable? Why is it that the me who's trying to survive, but also able to enjoy my life without this handicap was not celebrated before? Why were the things I've done before not appreciated? Why now, suddenly, they are appreciated? Why now, suddenly, they become remarkable? Is it because they are all now done while I'm wearing my brace?
Is it because now they thought I am a PWD?
This hit me hard. It goes back to the quote that I hated so much. Everything just validates how I feel about it; that majority able-bodied people are frequently deemed unremarkable.
It's detrimental to one's mental health!
I've talked about mental illness a lot before, and now I've realized another factor as to why so many people without any physical disabilities may suffer mental issues. Society continually lowers our self esteem by not celebrating and appreciating the things we do; we work hard to survive, we work hard to be able to enjoy the things we love, we work hard to ensure our future and the future of our loved ones. These are big efforts. These are big sacrifices. And yet society continues to perceive these as "just things we do".
Nothing special. There's nothing special with the things you do, they're insignificant and therefore you're not special.
Unless of course you're a PWD. Why? Because you worked twice as hard than others?
Now here lies a much more severe issue.
It's a Lot More Severe than You Think
But here lies the problem that most people don't see, or worst, willfully ignore: the society, the system. It's the society and the biased system that pushes most PWDs to do more, to work more, to achieve more.
Why did you ask?
Ask yourself again.
Why did many PWDs work harder than most able people?
Look again. Are you aware that society actually often perceives PWDs as less worthy than the rest? Inferior, some would say. The fact they are often seen as a liability, pushes them to prove that they can do things like people without disabilities can do, or in fact can even do better.
Don't believe me? Check the statistics of the workplace, and even the school, to see all the discrimination against PWDs. I even mentioned in my blog why I didn't register myself as PWD - because I feel it brings more disadvantages instead - when by right the law and system should be protecting us. When they should be accommodated to our needs.
But no. It was the other way round.
It Ableism! It's the discrimination and social prejudice against people with disabilities and/or people who are perceived to be disabled. Ableism perceives disabled people to be inferior to the non-disabled.
I was horrified to learn that some schools have even petitioned to have disabled children removed from their lists. Some excuse this by saying that these disabled children's mobility aids may hurt others; some even have the audacity to say that they didn't want their kids to be exposed to disabled children as much as possible since "the situation to be traumatizing". The absurdity!
A post by my friend showcases how problematic in finding PWDs to be inspirational:
Another thing most people don't understand is that many PWDs don't actually work twice as harder to prove themselves to the society, rather it is done OUT OF NECESSITY. Yes, out of necessity. With the prevalent lack of accessibilities, they had to adapt. They had to learn to live in ways we see as inspirational. These people are just trying to survive. And all these can be avoided had they've been provided all the support they needed.
Yes they're just trying to survive in the world biased to the able-bodied people where the majority of necessities cater to them. Able-bodied people don't need to work twice as much as PWDs because everything already caters to their needs. Another reason why most able-bodied people are blind to the plights of PWDs.
The problem lies with the fact that society finds PWDs to be inspirational but does nothing to actually make the system better. Laws and accessibilities. Tell me how many places have you seen that have both staircases and elevators? Some places can have elevators remaining unfixed for days, weeks or even months. How many public transportations provide ramps? How many public places like schools and universities provide ramps or elevators?
I can tell you this: 99% of the world are disabled unfriendly.
Honestly, if you look closely, almost everything they do are normal, just like what most able-bodied people do. They go to school, they go to university, they go to work, they go shopping, they hangout with friends and family. So why are they deemed as inspirational? They're enjoying life the same way as able-bodied people.
So ask yourself: why do you see them as inspirational? Aren't you doing the same things as they are? Work to survive, work for a better life, work to be able to enjoy life?
Many PWDs have expressed that they want to be known for their position just like other able-bodied people; they want to be known first as a student, as a businessman, as a sportsman, etc, and only after that as a PWD - not the other way round.
It's true really - why must we emphasize their disabilities first? Aren't they as achievable as able-bodied people are? Why do able-bodied people don't have such labels first, before their position? Why are able-bodied people immediately known for their positions but PWDs need to be emphasized to be a PWDs first?
Now I begin to understand why some PWDs find being inspirational to be demeaning. Praises such as "You have done a lot for a PWD" are not seen as a compliment. It's not. It's insulting. As much as you think you are praising them with that, but the truth is it's just the opposite. It’s humiliating, as if someone is telling them that they're worth less.
They were perceived differently BUT in a negative manner.
I totally understand now.
What Should We Do?
Honestly the issues here are almost the same as racism. Think back. What is racism? Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to physical appearance and can be divided based on the superiority of one race over another.
How do we overcome racism? By stopping race-comparing, viewing everyone as equal human beings, and celebrating each race's uniqueness in a positive manner.
Do you see the similarity here?
This is what we need to do. We need to simultaneously treat both able-bodied and disabled people equally, and cater both sides' necessities. We need to see both able-bodied and disabled people as humans where each side has their own uniqueness. Sounds odd but if you stop and think, you'll find that we are all unique; able-bodied people are unique for being complete and disabled people are unique for being incomplete. Celebrate both features. We are all doing the same things, just in our ways due to our uniqueness.
Everything we do is significant. Yes I know it sounds idealistic, but trust me. Idealism may take time, it may not be completely fulfilled even in the far future, but it's still better than nothing being done.
Something has to start somewhere.