2019 started really rough for, I broke up with my bf of 10 years due to family issues. I was a at loss, we dated when we both technically still in teens at 19 and basically we grew up together, starting university, graduating, working, went to abroad holidays, then the next thing I know at a late adult age of 29 I'm suddenly on my own.
As my psychiatrist consoling me, she encourage me to explore the world since my past 10 years had be involving around him. It took me awhile, half a year to be precise before I finally slowly start to move on. Since I never really been single I thought I want to give a year or two to explore living as a single person when I unexpectedly meet someone 9 months after my breakup.
It's all started on October 12th, 2021, during the Crazy Rich Mensan event, 3 months after I joined Mensa.
The 2019 International Board Directors
I was lucky to join Mensa months before International Board Directors (IBD). I found out the last time Malaysia hosting was in 1994. Originally I only plan to work as a volunteer and have no attention to attend the Gala Dinner, titled, "Crazy Rich Mensan", an obvious reference and poking fun on Crazy Rich Asian book/film. Mum thinks I should attend the gala dinner tho, and to be honest, I'm glad I did.
During the dinner I took noticed of a man sitting behind me but seeing he is with an intimidated lady whom I assumed his girlfriend/date for the gala, I decided not to talk to him. I instead socialized with majority of people during the gala and taking photos.
Things changed the next day when we cleared things up that he is actually single and we begin to chat and get to know each other. Admittedly I originally find him odd (he was actually tipsy), but over time as we chat even more, I begin to find him charming instead. I learnt his name is Domagoj (and he purposely tested me to try to pronounce his name as he showed me his name card and seemly as expected by him, I mistakenly called him "Domagoj" (as spelt) instead of "Domagoi") and he is from Croatia (where the "j" is"i" or "y" over there).
And finally the next day, Domagoj and the rest Croatians last day in Malaysia, I took them around to Pasar Seni (Central Market) since Katarina (the women I mistaken as Domagoj's girlfriend at the gala dinner) needs to buy something for her (real) boyfriend. During this time we both learnt we have something in common; we both were recently single from a 10 years relationship. We begin to bond over this matter, especially me since I find most people couldn't really understand m pain.
As Domagoj and the rest getting ready to get into Grab to head to airport, Domagoj suddenly grabbed me and gave me a surprise kiss. And this is my surprise kiss ever.
Making it Official
Originally we been keeping in touch through Messenger. Eventually through one of his friends I managed to get his phone number and texted him. After that we texted almost daily. Eventually almost 3 weeks later he asked me if I want to date him. And I said YES!
We planned to meet up again in the next few months, preferably at Korea for the Asian Mensa Gathering (AMG). Little did we know 2 weeks later the Covid outbreak begin and we both we thrusted into unplanned, unprepared long distance relationship (LDR)....
Text, Text, text Daily!
One of the things we always do during our time in LDR is to text daily. It's always one of us will eventually initiate the chat, and it wasn't easy due to our 6 hours differences, usually when he finally finish his work it's already midnight for me.
What we love to share with each other the most is food. I mean I'm an Asian, food is EVERYHTHING. Plus it make me feel closer to him when we share photos of our meals, as if we were together when having them.
Video Calls are Luxury
To some couplesthey not only text daily but they also have video calls daily. Not us. We decided to only have video calls once awhile, it can be once or twice a month. This is because we prefer to have longer chat and full concentration during vide calls instead of small talks. Plus I did not have unlimited internet data and I need to save them for works.
While we started video calls just to char, over time we sometimes calls but did not chat, but instead we both do our own things. We just want to feel as if we are in the same room together. There are also times Domagoj would play games and I would watched him playing and at times we would discuss the game solution together.
We tried many types of video calls, from our usual Whatsapp video calls, to Messengers, to Google Meet and even Discord. We avoid Google Meet as we both didn't have good quality webcams and as for Discord we use to watch/stream Youtube videos together.
Nothing more joyous than laughing together while watching something.
Playing Games Together
My brother introduced me Plato and during the lockdown he and along his friends invited me and Domagoj to play together. Over time Domagoj and I would play some Plato games together, especially during his train journey from Zagreb to his hometown Kutjevo.
He also invited me to play some games with his Croatians friends and we communicate through Discord. Most of the time we would play Among Us.
One of our favorite games to play together is We Were Here through Steam.
Keeping the Memories Fresh
It was rather unfortunate Domagoj and I didn't have many photos together and I find the ones that have only two of us doesn't looked nice. I looked very tired in them (aaaaaaah).
But I printed them and hang so I would keep our memories (short time) together stay fresh.
And the Comic Series Begin
After awhile of texting and video callings, I begin to imagine all these actually taken place in real-life instead and I imagining how my reaction in real-life would be. Thus a comic series was born. I had always wanted to draw comic but for years I was unmotivated. Finally I begin to pursue my lifelong dream.
The series started with the title "Dating a Croatian" and occasionally renamed "Dating a Malaysian" whenever the story is focused on me. I planned this title because if I did ended up marrying Domagoj, I planned to name the series "Married to a Croatian". Domagoj however dislike the series title so after brainstorming we renamed it "Brown Eyes" to tribute to something we both have in common, our brown eyes.
Gifts! Gifts!
During our LDR times, we both keep buying each other presents; birthdays, Christmas, or when we visiting new places (more to him because during these times Malaysia is in total lockdown). He even make our comic series mugs (this is before the Brown Eyes era)!
Some of the gifts from Domagoj from Croatia. He went for sailing across the Adriatic sea and at Hvar he got me this beautiful bracelet made of corals. Very unique indeed!
FINALLY WE MEET AGAIN!
When Malaysia announced they're lifting travel ban (both local and international) on October 11th 2021, I knew I must plan my travel asap to see Domagoj again. Initially I want to visit Domagoj in Croatia, only to discover they currently denying entry for Sinovac. We were gut wrenched with this news but determined. We went through many reserach and discovered only nine European countries accepting Sinovac (plus no quarantine needed). We originally plan to visit Greece - only to discover Greece blacklisted Malaysia from entry (cue Darth Vader's nooo). Disheartened, we returned to the drawing block and we finally decided to meet up at one of my European bucket list place to visit: Amsterdam.
The first two photos we taken together after two year plus separated; one at the outside of the airport right after my arrival and another one at one of the canals nearby our hotel.
We make sure to take as many photos together as possible at all locations we visitng.
We even have matching plaid clothing and exchange our national Mensa T-shirts.
We exchanged our years keeping gifts, but because Domagoj forgot to bring some of my gifts he offered to to buy some items of my choices in Amsterdam (right).
Meeting International Online Friends
One of the highlights of my trip is to finally meet one of first online friends, Rafaël Valerio Adonai Sarmaat whom I had meet in deviantArt and had been friends since 2005! I also set up to meet my idol Alis Rožmberk whom I meet at Instgram around 2017-2018? And we even did Lolita distant twinning last year. The downside going trips with only two people is that Domagoj and I couldn't really take photos together apart of selfie. So with them we finally have some decent photos together in Amsterdam.
Alis arrived first as she live 15 mins away (via train). We had to wait for Rafaël as he live almost 2 hours away (also via train). It's still feel surreal to finally meet them in real life! I was craving for sushi so we all head to Genki Garden and we ordered the Party Box for 80 euro (which all of think it's a steal for four people dining). Poor Domagoj 'dreaded' during the dine as he is the only one among us didn't know how to use chopstick.
Regardless we had a fantastic lunch, catching up with each other as well getting to know each other. It's great to see everyone getting along well, especially Alis and Rafaël.
We were trying to take selfie outside the restaurant when a lovely Asian couple saw us and offered to help us snapped a photo. Due to lockdown and everything closing at 5pm, we decided to but few snacks and drink at Albert Heijn (the Dutch equivalent to 7-Eleven) and headed to an open park to continue to hangout till late night.
We walked all the way from Damrak to Sarphatipark (20 minutes away by walk) only to find the park is pitch black (and wet)! We were disappointed as we had chosen the park as the park have a nice monument and we thought we could take some nice night photos there. As we walked back, we found another park, Frederiksplein and the park have better lighting too so we settled there and chit chat till late night.
Bidding Farewell for Now
Our 10 days trip is finally over and it's time to bid farewell as we both returning to our countries. To be honest I am not ready to say farewell even tho I know we will meet again.
Domagoj's flight is 5 hours before mine so I have 3 hours on my own to wonder around.
I will never forget the last time we hold hands in Amsterdam. I hope I can hold them again.
I wanna thank everyone for reading throughout the blog entry. I hope my LDR story give insights and even guide to help others to go trough LDR especially because of the pandemic.
I took many short videos during our 10 days trip in Amsterdam, hoping to make Tik Tok video and Instagram reel of our time spent, and I must say I am very happy with the outcome. I'm also happy Domagoj took many videos of me which helps a lot in making the video/reel.
Almost all the videos he took of me are genuine because he actually took them discreetly; he would first take my photos (either at my requests or candid) then quietly change to video. Really I'm so glad he did that because now I have many videos of me in the moment.
As I mentioned over and over, I hope and I'll be looking forward to meet up with him again, have another wonderful trip and time spend together. Or better next time we'll be closing the distant.
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